Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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