I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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