what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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