I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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