do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
