I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
