he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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