Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
