Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
