Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
