Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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