Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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