what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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