I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
