but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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