I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
