Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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