Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just cropdusted the office
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm sobbing to NWA
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
