Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize