and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
