I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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