So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
