you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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