butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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