I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize