So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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