I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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