So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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