we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
