He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
