I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
