so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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