did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
