if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
