I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize