let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
