i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
