At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i will never coherently bang her
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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