she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
