He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
