I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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