help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
