So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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