what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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