You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
