i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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