His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
