i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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