Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
