I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Success! We fucked roommates!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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