Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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