I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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