don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
