Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
