return my video game
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
