At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
