I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
