He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
