just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it's like iHOP with fire
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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