Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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