You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
