'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
