Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
