Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize