ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
