I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
