I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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