I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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